


The long and winding road

by ssol00



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2014-11-21
Packaged: 2018-02-26 12:15:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2651729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssol00/pseuds/ssol00
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sousuke comes to Australia for an impromptu visit. Rin tries to sort out his feelings. He has a lot of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The long and winding road

Rin's been living in Australia for five months when Sousuke arrives at his steps. He's holding a scruffy duffle bag in one hand and a coke in the other. His hair is mashed into a ridiculous cap and he looks like he needs a shave.

"Hey," he says.

Rin just gapes at him for a full minute. Sousuke places his hands on Rin's hips and gently moves him to the side as he makes his way in.

* * *

They've been out of touch for a couple of weeks. Partly because Rin's training schedule has been strenuous; partly because Rin is shitty at keeping Sousuke in the loop. Guilt gnaws its way down to the pit of his stomach, but there's really nothing he can do about it. People don't change. Not so easily.

Sousuke doesn't seem to mind, though. He acts as if it's nothing less than he expected and somehow, that makes Rin feel even worse.

"I'm sorry," he says stiffly, but Sousuke waves his hand lazily.

"I only have a week, Rin. Don't make me waste any of it."

Rin sees Sousuke's logic and cautiously offers a small smile. Sousuke grins back and holds out a fist, and Rin bumps his hand against it. Just like that, the awful feeling dissipates and everything feels normal again.

He vows to make Sousuke's week in Australia unforgettable.

"Wanna go drinking?"

Sousuke raises his eyebrows and leans forward so he can study Rin's face. Rin flushes and tries to set his eyes elsewhere so Sousuke won't see through him, but of course it's futile. This is Sousuke after all.

"You don't drink, Rin. And we're not old enough, yet."

"I know," Rin snaps back to hide his embarrassment. "But, who knows when you'll be back. I just want to share my first drink with my best friend, okay?"

He didn't mean to say it like that, because it's a little too blunt. That's not the way they communicate with each other, not usually. Rin knows he's made a mistake when he sees the shit-eating grin on Sousuke's face.

"Shut up."

"I didn't say anything," Sousuke counters.

"I can tell you're thinking it," Rin mutters back and Sousuke just grins some more. He settles his arm heavily on Rin's shoulders and leans against him until both of them almost topple over.

"Most people would like being called cute," Sousuke says.

Rin gives him a hard jab to the sides and resolutely stomps on Sousuke's foot.

"You know I'm not most people."

* * *

Rin's heard from one of his teammates that there's a bar downtown that's lax about checking IDs. Nevertheless, he's nervous and he can't help fussing with his hair or straightening his clothes as they get off the bus.

"Relax, Rin. It's not the end of the world if they don't let us in," Sousuke pats his shoulder reassuringly, and Rin thinks that's easy for him to say. He's already replayed the worst case scenario in his head far too many times where Sousuke is let in, but Rin gets pulled back. It's not that Sousuke looks old, but it's hard to imagine anyone questioning Sousuke of his place. There's an air of maturity that Rin can't quite place his finger on that sets him apart from the crowd.

Luckily, the bar is busy and they manage to sneak in and grab the last empty table in the corner before anyone stops them. Rin wrinkles his nose at the smell of cigarette smoke which has Sousuke laughing and flicking his nose.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sousuke asks, and Rin makes an effort to look nonchalant and absolutely at ease with the situation.

"Hell, yeah."

Ten minutes later, Rin is sipping at his drink (a Manhattan — chosen out of curiosity because it sounded cool, but turned out to be horrendously strong and strangely tasteless) while Sousuke is craning his head closer and closer to make himself heard above the music and idle chatter around them.

Rin nods his head to what Sousuke is saying, but concentrates more on how Sousuke looks tonight. He's cleanly shaven and his hair is as neat as always. He's wearing a rugged leather jacket and a dark sweater that looks soft and expensive. He looks like he always does, solid and handsome.

He stops Sousuke mid-sentence before he can stop himself.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

Maybe the alcohol is starting to get to him, because he can feel a light buzz going through his head.

He sees Sousuke pause for a moment and down the rest of his beer before answering.

"Yeah. A few times," he says, and honestly, Rin is not surprised. Because it would be stupid for someone like Sousuke to have never had a girlfriend. He suspected as much during high school, but he never inquired because he didn't want to know the nitty-gritty details. He does now, though.

"Were they nice?"

"Yes," Sousuke answers without hesitation. And this is expected as well. Not necessarily because Sousuke has good judgment of character ( _then, he wouldn't be best friends with me_ , Rin thinks wryly), but because it's impossible to imagine Sousuke badmouthing his exes.

"Did you— did you kiss any of them?"

The question is naive and childish and Rin already knows the answer, but he wants to hear it from Sousuke. When Sousuke nods, Rin gulps the rest of his own drink and feels it burn his throat on its way down. He forces himself to picture Sousuke with a girl. He wants to get comfortable with the idea. He really does.

"What's with all of these questions, Rin?" Sousuke asks gently and Rin swings his head side to side to make things clearer.

"Just, curious. I've never kissed anyone, you know," Rin mumbles.

He really hasn't.

He's never had a girlfriend. Never wanted a girlfriend, either. When people asked he would answer offhandedly that he was too busy chasing his dream to think about dating anyone, but in truth, Rin often wondered what it would be like.

When he was a kid he had a lot of stupid dreams about dating. In his imagination, the perfect date started at the beach with Rin surprising his partner with flowers. (Never mind it was clichéd and nearly impossible to find a flower shop by the bay. He dismissed the superficial details in favor of romance.)

They would walk barefoot in the sand and sip on milkshakes. Maybe they would goof off for a while, chasing each other across the water. Dinner would be somewhere fancy with candles and classy music playing in the background. God, he was a stupid kid.

His mind always blanked when he tried to picture his ideal date further, though. He never got past imagining holding hands. Kissing.

It's not that Rin was naive to the point where he never jacked off. He just found it difficult to connect the dots between lust and love. They were oddly separate entities in Rin's mind and only recently he had come to terms that most people wanted to fulfill both with the same person. Supposedly, sex was something more than a rushed session of lowered pants and hasty friction — with thoughts flitting to people who weren't cute girls. Who weren't girls at all.

Once he made the connection Rin's shoulders sagged because it verified what Rin had been running away from for a long time. He might like guys.

His suspicion turned into confirmation when he started rooming with Sousuke during his last year in Samezuka. Not because Rin was attracted to Sousuke per se, but because Sousuke was a good-looking guy with a great body. At least that's what Rin kept telling himself.

With a shake of his head he envisions Sousuke intertwined with some girl even though it makes him feel slightly sick. He needs to get used to the idea, because sooner or later it's going to happen isn't it? To Rin's knowledge, Sousuke didn't date anyone while he was attending Samezuka, but that only meant he had been preoccupied with his shoulder, right?

He has an inkling why he's so uncomfortable with the idea of Sousuke hooking up with someone, and it has less to do with Sousuke being an objectively attractive guy and more to do with Rin's own complicated feelings towards Sousuke himself, but he resolutely squashes any idle thoughts. He _won't_ let his mind drift that way. He wants to be a good best friend. He really does.

* * *

" _Hey handsome, I got you a drink."_

Rin can't recall her name, but the leggy, scantily clad girl has been sitting next to Sousuke for almost half an hour now. She doesn't look much older than them, but she acts like she knows what she's doing. To Rin's annoyance she's been touching Sousuke — not enough to be creepy, but still too personal for Rin's liking. She's now pushing a shot glass towards Sousuke and scooting closer to him until their hips are touching.

Rin guesses that Sousuke doesn't understand half of what the girl whispers into his ear, but it doesn't seem to matter. He's not exactly encouraging her actions, but he doesn't do much to deflect them either. Rin is both mildly surprised and bothered by this.

" _I think he's had enough_ ," Rin slurs and both the girl and Sousuke shoot him an amused look.

"Speak for yourself, Rin. You sound totally out of it. Wanna go home?"

Rin does. But he stubbornly leans back against his chair and shakes his head no. He's almost morbidly fascinated by the way the girl is flirting with Sousuke and how Sousuke reacts to it. It's a side of Sousuke he's never seen before, and he sort of forces himself to keep watching.

" _I don't know what you said, but I get the feeling that you're trying to run away from me_ ," the girl pouts at Sousuke. He laughs and downs the drink she brought him and for the umpteenth time, Rin wonders how much English Sousuke can actually understand. He must be a little tipsy, too, although he probably doesn't look it to outsiders. Rin can tell from the subtle way he's more relaxed and open because usually it takes ages for Sousuke to warm up to people.

The girl smiles and points to her empty glass. " _Your turn to buy me a drink_ ," she says coyly and Sousuke blinks before nodding and sliding down his seat to head to the bartender. He mouths to Rin that he'll be back in a second, but a few moments later the girl winks at Rin and follows him. He gets a sinking feeling in the bottom of his stomach as he sees the girl quickly fix her lipstick and tug up her skirt. They disappear into the crowd and Rin stares blankly at his hands, suddenly alone.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Rin gets tired of waiting and goes to the counter where he finds the girl practically sitting on Sousuke's lap and and shoving her tongue down his throat. Her hands are tangled in his hair and Sousuke's arms are drifting, not touching her, but not exactly pulling away. They separate for a while and the girl laughs at the smear of lipstick around Sousuke's mouth.

Rin quickly turns around so neither of them sees him. He feels shaky, as if the room is spinning. He really wants to go home now. He manages to stumble back to their table and sit down.

After waiting for five minutes and feeling increasingly stupid with every ticking second, he gets up and leaves. He makes sure to send Sousuke a text message saying that he got a headache and had to go. As an afterthought, he fumbles with his phone and makes sure to send him instructions back to his apartment with a note saying that he will be leaving his keys under the doormat, so no need to worry about coming home early.

* * *

It hits him later when he's getting off from the bus that Sousuke might not be coming back home tonight at all. He's so stupid.

* * *

And then he realizes with a start that his apartment _isn't_ Sousuke's home. He spends hours lying in bed staring at the ceiling until finally, he hears the front door open and close. He screws his eyes shut and half hopes that Sousuke will come into his room and confront him why he left, but it doesn't happen.


End file.
